top of page

Domestic Violence: Continued Abuse

Updated: Mar 19, 2021

The main definition of ”Control“: the power to influence or direct people’s behavior or the course of events.

Many words associated with “Control” also include: authority, limiting, regulating, restraint, restriction, manage, and oppress.


The word “Control” resonates deeply within the psyche of Domestic Violence (DV) victims all over the world. Each year, in the U.S., it’s estimated that close to 10 Million people suffer from domestic abuse. That’s an estimated 10 Million people who have found themselves in situations where they are enslaved by a single word... “Control.”

Statistics from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Physical, Emotional, Mental: An abuser seeks out an intimate partner with qualities that they can manipulate in order to break down a persons will. Taking notches out of their partner’s overall confidence, and using the pieces to gain total power over their partner, all in the name of “Love.” Abusers aren't born. They're made through many variables that reek havoc on their own ways of thinking. With many domestic abuse situations having stemmed from addiction issues, others being that of individuals who were raised in abusive homes, themselves. LIKE genetic coding, abuse runs through the veins of not only just the abuser, but in many cases, the victim as well. Its what they've learned and what they know.

This doesn't include those who came from such home atmospheres and have used their earlier experiences to live a life of "What NOT to do." Like a gene skipping a generation, there are many who survived abusive situations and carried on. They taught themselves to recognize the signs... and how to avoid them.

RED FLAGS of Abusive Relationships

But not everyone is as observant to these traits, and many others... not so lucky.

Athens Mother of 3, Dead. Abusive Boyfriend Charged With Murder

"No one deserves abuse. PERIOD. I can only blame myself. No one was at fault but me for choosing this person to be in my life but what happened afterwards, I was like, 'holy shit!' I tried to leave so many times and it was just such hell that going back seemed to be the only thing plausible, until abuse nearly killed me." - Alexis Moore: Attorney, Risk Management Specialist, Advocate.

Alexis Moore knows the signs all too well. As a survivor of domestic abuse, Alexis uses her experience to advocate for others, as well as educate many more.

“Why don’t they just leave?” you may ask.

Domestic Violence situations are more complex than a victim just packing up their belongings and going elsewhere. Leaving, or even mentioning the idea to an abuser, is one of the most dangerous things a victim can do- with the majority of all homicides from Domestic Violence being AFTER the victim chooses to leave. The victim knows their abuser. The victim knows what sets them off, and to cut the chord of power of an abuser, an electrical storm of anger and more violence will surge. Its not just the victim who suffers this current of chaos, either. Family members, children, friends, law enforcement, counselors, and others who have intervened in many domestic abuse cases have fallen victim to the rage that swelled within an abuser.

All because of the abuser‘s need for “Control.”


We are bombarded with advertising of government funded hotlines, websites, and advocacy groups that offer no direct support, so DV victims suffer in silence every single day. The walls of their homes and the arms of their supposed "intimate" partner are nothing more than representations of a prison cell they've succumbed to. While these advocacy groups and government agencies continue to profit, more victims are WAITING... patiently for the next argument, beating, or worse. Wouldn't common sense involve getting the victim OUT of the violent situation, or empowering them to seek more than resources that are only beneficial for AFTER they leave... but are not even a guarantee?

Statistics from the National Domestic Violence Hotline

Domestic Violence issues do not rest alone in the homes. Many women and men face an even sneakier demon related to DV... Stalking.

One in 6 women (16.2%) and 1 in 19 men (5.2%) in the United States have experienced stalking victimization at some point during their lifetime in which they felt very fearful or believed that they or someone close to them would be harmed or killed (by any perpetrator).

This isn't JUST some random drive-by experience to check to see if another car is in your ex's driveway. Nor is it a silly drunk text to your ex after a night of partying and you happened to see them with a new lover.

Stalking is more detailed and strategic. Its an obsession. Like a tiger stalking it's prey... note the word "PREY."