​

Safety Planning

A practical, judgment‑free guide to protecting your well‑being in ways that fit your reality

Safety planning isn’t about panic or worst‑case scenarios. It’s about quiet preparation, clear thinking, and protecting your autonomy in situations where someone else’s behavior, control, or instability puts you at risk — emotionally, mentally, financially, or physically.

You don’t have to wait for things to “get bad enough” to deserve a plan.
You don’t have to justify why you need one.
You don’t have to explain your situation to anyone.

​

A safety plan is simply a tool that helps you stay grounded, prepared, and in control of your next steps.

 

1. Assessing Your Immediate Safety

Before anything else, it helps to understand what “safety” means in your situation.

Safety can be:

• emotional safety: feeling stable, respected, and not manipulated

• mental safety: not being gaslit, threatened, or destabilized

• financial safety: having access to your own money, documents, and essentials

• physical safety: being free from threats, intimidation, or harm

Your safety plan should reflect the type of harm you’re navigating — not just the type people talk about the most.

 

2. Quiet, Private Preparation

Preparation doesn’t have to be dramatic. It can be small, subtle, and entirely on your terms.

• store important documents in a safe or digital location

• keep a list of essential contacts somewhere private

• set aside small amounts of money if financial control is an issue

• identify safe places you can go if you need space

• create a digital backup of anything important

These steps are about stability, not secrecy.

 

3. What to Document (and What Not To)

Documentation can help you stay grounded in reality when someone is manipulating, gaslighting, or rewriting events.

Helpful things to document:

• dates and patterns of concerning behavior

• financial changes or restrictions

• messages or emails that feel threatening or destabilizing

• your own emotional responses for clarity

What not to document:

• anything that could escalate danger if discovered

• anything stored in a shared device or account

• anything you feel unsafe keeping

Your safety comes before your evidence.

 

4. Identifying Safe People

Safe people are not always the loudest supporters — they’re the ones who respect your boundaries and don’t pressure you.

Look for people who:

• listen without judgment

• don’t push you to act before you’re ready

• keep your confidence

• support your autonomy

You don’t need a crowd. You just need one or two steady, trustworthy people.

 

5. Creating a Personalized “Go Plan”

A “Go Plan” doesn’t always mean leaving a relationship or home. It can also mean:

• taking a break for a few hours

• having a safe place to decompress

• knowing who to call if things escalate

• having essentials ready if you need to step away

Your plan should match your reality — not someone else’s expectations.

 

6. Digital Safety Basics

Digital safety is often overlooked, especially in emotionally or financially abusive situations.

Consider:

• changing passwords on personal accounts

• turning off location sharing

• using private browsing for research

• checking shared devices for synced accounts

• backing up important files

Small digital steps can create major emotional safety.

 

7. Rural vs. Urban Safety Considerations

Your environment shapes your options.

Rural safety planning may involve:

• longer distances to support

• limited privacy in tight‑knit communities

• fewer local resources

Urban safety planning may involve:

• closer access to services

• more anonymity

• higher density environments

Neither is easier — they’re just different. Your plan should reflect your landscape.

 

A Note From Mom-At-Arms

Safety planning is not about fear.
It’s about clarity, agency, and options.

You deserve to feel safe — emotionally, mentally, financially, and physically.
You deserve support that respects your pace.
You deserve tools that don’t require you to justify your situation.

This page gives survivors something most resources don’t:
a plan that honors the full spectrum of harm, not just the visible kind.