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You’re a mean one, Mrs. Grinch: A Shannon Watts Christmas tale

Updated: May 20

Was the night before Christmas, and all thru the halls, there where thousands of guns, for one and for all!

One Who in Whoville was not happy to see, the freedom for all that has came to be. Shannon Watts was her name, and she sold her soul for fame


She was so mad developed a plan, to take all of the guns and then call for a ban!


On Christmas Eve, she got on her sled, hell bent on taking arms while the Whos were in bed


She snuck through the town while all were asleep, being careful as to not make a peep



Down the chimneys she went, gun grabbing sacks and all, she was determined to make the 2nd amendment fall


Up on the mantle she saw the Glock nines


She grabbed her magnet and went on to declare “these shall all be mine!”



Mrs. Grinch then hit up the .50’s and ran through the hall


But she had to be sure, were they loaded? Yes, with standard ball!


It was time to finish up, but she couldn’t let the people be free

so she took the Beretta as well, which was on top of the tree

Out came her gun grabbing pal from March For Our Lives, she patted his head and said “thanks for the sweet vibes”


With all of the guns rounded up, she celebrated with cheer, and decided no boxed wine today, instead it shall be beer!

There was just one problem with Shannon’s mission that she pulled off on Christmas Eve: She committed multiple felonies by breaking into houses, stealing guns, was in possession of knowingly stolen firearms, etc. She was too stupid to cover her tracks because she didn’t think she was doing anything wrong either. Her “feelings” made her think it was all ok. Needless to say, Whoville SWAT paid her a visit.

Shannon “Mrs. Grinch” Watts was arrested and all of the stolen guns were returned to their rightful owners. The story is not over though, because Jack Frost (aka Michael Bloomberg) was awoken from his slumber.......


The End.

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